Parkview Lockport Blog

True Confessions of a First Time Dad: Would It Kill You To Hold A Door?

I was recently in Naperville, Illinois with Aniston while we waited for our dog Pachino to get a haircut or should I say buzz.

If I can say, our Golden Retriever loves getting shaved almost as much as Aniston dropping her entire lunch on the kitchen floor.  His heaven would consist of rows of toddlers in high chairs eating ravioli, a person rubbing his ears at all times, a buzz cut, and probably one of the Sleep Number beds in the shape of a dog bone.  He rocks.

Well, while Pachino was having a doggy spa day, Aniston and I hit some of the sites of Naperville including the Children's Museum.  This was totally cool, but needs another blog.  Stay Tuned.

However, before we tackled the museum we grabbed a little lunch at Panera.  Aniston loves people watching and grilled cheese so this was a perfect match.  We ate, pointed, giggled, and changed a diaper before it was time to go.  After I packed up I began the art of loading myself down for the walk to the car.

This consists of figuring out how you can carry a diaper bag, leftovers, sippy cup, a cookie for mom, the Declaration of Independence, a box of fireworks, and oh, a baby. I literally felt like a combination of those chicks that carry water on their heads and a Sherpa leading an expedition of climbers up Mt. Everest as I prepared for the 30 yard walk to the car.

As I got close to the doors to leave a sweet lady saw me.  She had just finished her meal and was taking her iced tea to go.  She smiled at us and as she walked through the glass doors, she "kindly"...let it shut in my face as she put on her knock-off Christian Dior sunglasses.  Even Aniston, who can only say "baby," was hacked off.

For Pete sake, I know I didn't have my cardboard sign on me that said "Will Work For You To Hold The Door Open For Me," but I'm pretty sure I didn't have my Harry Potter invisible cape on either.

So I did the whole "kick the door open with my foot scurry through before my daughter gets a concussion"-move and made my way to the car.  Luckily I only dropped the fireworks.

Too often I do that to people too.  Not so much with people needing the door held open for them, but to people that obviously have some baggage in their life. It's the kind of thing where you can obviously see that there is some stuff going on or stuff has gone on that they could use some help with.

I'm not even talking about the people you meet on the street corners, but I'm talking about the people you know well.  The friends and family that are close to you, that you share meals with, go to ball games with, and you text those stupid things back and forth with. Those people.

I pray that we aren't shutting the door in their faces as I know I have in my life.  They may never ask for it, but they may just need us just to turn around and help a little. Maybe it's an encouraging word, a Scripture you have read that has helped you, an invite to church, or even a kick in the pants to get them going again. You know them well so help them well too.

Whatever you do will be better than smiling and slipping out the door. 

All I Want To Do Is Pump Some Gas!

I don't know if you have noticed lately but the gas station is getting awfully personal.

It all starts innocently enough as you pull up to the pump to get a little gas.  As you slide your credit card into the reader to pay...it begins.

Question 1: Welcome to Fill-r-Up!  Is this credit or debit?

    Me:        Debit

Question 2:  What is your PIN number?

    Me:        (you'd like that wouldn't you...jerks :))

Question 3:  Are you a preferred card member?

    Me:        No

Question 4:  Would you like to be?

    Me:        No, but I would like some gas.

Question 5:  Would you like this all on this card?

    Me:        Wait, what?  Can I use that guys over there? 

Question 6:  Would you like to save $1 and get a Car Wash?

    Me:        No!?  Gas, gas, gas

Question 7:  No seriously, have you seen your car it is terrible.  Would you like wash?

    Me:        Seriously? Don't make me go Binary Code all over you here.

Question 8:  Would you like to donate $1 to the gas station owner's 401k?

    Me:        I'd like to set this station on fire right now, but I need gas in order to do that.

Question 9:  Would you be interested in hearing about a Time Share opportunity in Muncie, IN?

    Me:        Oh my goodness, where is my 7 iron?

Question 10:  Knock, Knock

    Me:        Who's there?

Question 11:  Olive

    Me:        Olive who?

Question 12:  Olive you!

    Me:        You love me?  You better text your family good-bye because I'm going to...  All I want do to is pumps some Gas!!!!!!!!!!

Please select your grade and begin pumping. :)

Maybe I'm alone, but I'm sure there is a few people out there that said "AMEN" in a couple spots.  For crying out loud all I want is to get some gas.  That is the whole reason I came!

Sadly that is how many people feel about church.  They come wanting to find out more about Christ and are actively seeking out their spiritual walk and more times than not they run into people who act like Gas Pump computers. 

They are full of questions to ask them before they come in the door as if they were the bridge troll like in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  

Question 1: How are you dressed?

Question 2:  What kind of music do you listen to?

Question 3: What is your view on R-rated movies?

Question 4: Do you have a husband to go along with the child?

Question 5: What are your views on limited atonement, abortion, the death penalty, and Democrats?

Question 6: What is your favorite color?

And on and on they go assuming that they are somehow "protecting" the church from all the messed up people of the world.  As if the church was made for perfect people only and they are one of them.  

News Flash:  Gate keeper dude, you may want to do a quick LOGOS study and find out about what the Bible says about pride and arrogance before you finish asking your clipboard of questions.  

In the greatest sermon ever preached, Jesus tells us who He came for and therefore who His church was established.  Here is the the highlight real; poor in spirit, those in mourning, the meek, the spiritually malnourished, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, the persecuted, the insulted, and the recipients of evil for unjust reasons. 

To me, that makes it sound like Jesus has an open door policy and since it's HIS party He can make the guest list.   

So all of us need to check ourselves from time to time and ask "How am I keeping people from seeking a relationship with God?"  Yes there is a transformation that needs to take place in people's lives.   Yes they need to turn from their sin.  Yes apart from Christ death is not a good thing, but don't they have to know about Jesus in order to know about all of that? 

They can't hear the Truth if they are stuck in the lobby talking to you and your clipboard.  Just realize that as you are talking, their soul is screaming this question, "Can't I just come in and hear about Jesus!"   

Question 13:  Would you like a receipt?

    Me:        Oh come on.

True Confessions of a First Time Dad: "Breakfast with BG is the Best"

6:00 am -   Alarm goes off

6:00:30 am - I hit snooze

6:10 am - Alarm goes off...again (Is it just me or doesn't it seem to be more angry and irritated after a snooze?)

6:15 am - I get up

Cherie is training for the Chicago Marathon so that means that even on days she is off I'm still in charge of morning duty with Aniston.   SO PROUD OF MY WIFE!!!

6:20 am - I am usually cutting a fruit of some sort getting ready for BG to awaken. 

6:25 am - Sippy-straw bottle-thingy is filled with milk, bread is positioned in toaster, peanut butter is out, and knife sitting on a napkin to complete my preparation for my girl.

After that, the waiting game begins.  Most mornings I feel like a little boy on Christmas waiting for mom to say it is OK to come down and open presents as I anticipate Aniston waking up.  Yes, there are some mornings that I pray she has become a bear overnight and hibernation has set in, but those are few and far between. 

For me, having breakfast with my little girl is one of the best parts of my day.  I mean I love it all.

• Cracking open the door to see what new hair-do she concocted during her blanket wrestling match
• Seeing her head pop above the crib sometimes sucking on the wrong side of the paci
• That little smile that says "morning daddy, I need a change"
• Picking her up for that morning hug complete with her bedhead makes her all the more snuggly
• Watching her stretch as we take off her water balloon diaper.
• Having her head on my shoulder as I walk downstairs towards the kitchen

And finally...it's breakfast time.  It's a time for just her and I to giggle, play some peek-a-boo, and eat some kiwi slices together.  Right now there are no words exchanged, but since she has none in her arsenal I can't really call it the silent treatment.

I drink coffee with milk and she drinks straight milk.  I have toast with crust and she has toast with cuts.  I clean up the dishes and she wiggles and smooshes. 

I love just spending time with my little girl.

I'll keep my ending point short.

God wants that with you too.  He eagerly awaits when you wake and have time to spend with Him.  He wants to hear about your day, your struggles, your success, and your pains.  The Creator of the universe wants to spend one on one time with you because He loves you more than you can ever know.

So get up with your bedhead sometime and hang out with your Dad.  I'm sure he will have the bread in the toaster waiting. 

My GPS is Stupid

I remember back in the day when you needed to have a person in the passenger seat of your car for more than just putting their feet up on the glass.  They actually did something other than complain about the radio station you picked. 

It worked like this. 

When you would want to travel from point A to point B and weren't familiar with the route, you needed help.  The person on your right would open this book with pictures called a map and give you directions on how to arrive at the destination. 

It was a glorious interaction between two intelligent people that would normally end up with one of you calling the other person an "idiot" or if you were really tired the phrase "I know you are but what am I?" would spew out.  However you would usually get from point A to point B...eventually.

Well that wasn't good enough for us.

Now we have satellites that follow us all over the place and provide our Global Positioning at all times.  We are able to translate this data into words through our GPS systems in our cars.  If you are truly trashy, you probably chose a different voice to say the directions to you like Snoop Dogg or Hannah Montana because...well...who the heck knows.  So now instead of yelling at the passenger next to you, you yell at a computer trapped in a box the size of a sardine can that taunts you in a Chuck Norris voice.

I have a one of those GPS deals...I chose a British voice...I named her Lilly.  There, I said it.

However, Lilly is stupid.  Let me tell you why.

I will plug in the address to my destination, hit "Go", and follow the directions blindly.  I mean, it's a computer what could go wrong?  However, from time to time I will miss a turn and have to take an alternate route that Lilly recalculates.  Here is the kicker, 9 times out of 10 this route is faster than the first route she told me go on! 

What in the flim flam is that all about? 

You would think that Mr. Global Positioning System-man would be able to know that I would much rather get from Point A to Point B in 20 minutes rather than 45, but noooooooo.  I get the route that takes me next to Aunt Bee's Lama farm and forces me to fill up with gas twice before I get there.

I about "placed" Lilly on Interstate 294 the other day to let her think about what she had done. 

That got me to thinking though.

I really believe this is a similar scam that Satan uses.  More people than not believe that there is a god, but everyone is searching for the way that will get them to him with least amount of work and the least amount of disruption to their current lives. 

So Satan will drop a little doubt into our glass in the form of fear.

The fear usually comes in the form of this question: "What if I choose a path to follow God and later find a faster, easier route?"  I mean, what if I can find a path to God that lets me keep sleeping with my boyfriend, doing drugs, and cheating on my taxes?  Honestly, if I could find that option I'd be a lot "happier"...wouldn't I?  I bet Oprah would even want to know about it!

So most either don't follow anything or they simply choose to follow everything in hopes that they can cover all their bases before they die.  As if God will stand at the gates of Heaven with a clipboard checking off the buffet of religions you tried in order to get to Him. 

As Christians we have this assurance found in John 14:6:

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one gets to the Father except through me."   

I'm not sure you can find a much more direct route to God.  When God incarnate tells you just follow Him and He will lead you to eternal life that seems pretty cut and dry.  There is no need for us to check our spiritual GPS for redirection or for an updated route. 

I wasn't great at geometry, but I do remember that the shortest distance between two points is still a straight line. 

Bottom line is Jesus took out the guess work and destroyed any fear we may have about what happens next or what route is best.  He was so serious that He died to prove it. 

Now that's something I'll follow.