Parkview Lockport Blog

True Confessions of a First Time Dad: I Drive Slower Now

My best friend and I used to be maniacs when it came to driving back home. Neither of us had cars that were lighting fast, but we sure thought they were.  How could you not when one of us had a S10 Pickup and the other had a Ford Bronco II!?  I mean, those are the definition of speed and handling in my book.

Regardless of what we were driving, there was no question that how we were driving was a little nutty.  We had an itch for that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're on the borderline of flipping your car as you tuck around the corners of the winding roads we lived on.  Looking back we put ourselves and others in some serious danger by our road antics, but at the time we didn't think about that stuff.

Advance a few chapters in life to the present day and things are different.

Adding Aniston into the equation of life has made many things change for me including how I drive.  I'm sure all of us can remember driving home from the hospital for the first time with our new born baby and honestly feeling like you were driving your car in an episode of Star Wars with how fast the cars seemed to pass you by.  You'd lay on your horn and yell "slow down psycho!" as you literally travel slow enough that an old lady walking backwards could pass you.

But it's not just that trip that slows your driving roll.  You are forever more aware of stop signs, red lights, yellow lights, and school zones than you ever were before.  Looking both ways is not good enough when entering and intersection.  No, now you ask your wife to confirm that it is safe to drive through and you don't even mind the double check! 

For heaven's sake, I even use cruise control in town so I don't accidently go Dale Earnhardt Jr. on someone that cuts me off. 

I've changed the way that I drive because there is something greater at stake than me now.  I've slowed down because I want to enjoy the moments I have with Aniston even if it means getting somewhere 7 seconds slower.  I don't think any parents would argue this to a man, but would our actions match our words?

Allow me to carry this analogy beyond the roadways.  Parents or those who desire to be parents one day, how has/will your life slow down for your family?

• Dads, do our kids know how much we love them all the time or is it only when Fantasy Football isn't in season?
• Moms, is your anxiety about how they are dressed, what kids will think, if they'll skin their knees, or how they feel after that girl broke his heart keeping your from enjoying the brief time you have them?
• Parents, has the pursuit of "giving them more than you had" come at the cost of giving them less of us physically, emotionally and spiritually?

I really hope that when I utter the phrase "wow, she grew up fast!" I'll be able to quickly pull up tons of memories with Aniston.  But I know some of you will struggle to remember even a few because you will have lived life never slowing down long enough to make any. 

I pray that today you are able to pull back the zoom lens of life to 30,000 feet and see what your life really looks like.  Then take the bold step of slowing down.  Not in a lazy, playing video games all day kind of slowing down, but in a getting rid of the unnecessary, self-induced, frantic pace of life kind of way.  

You'd be surprised what you will see when life isn't a blur in your rearview mirror.  

Daniel and the Lion's Den -- The After Party

"At the king’s command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions’ den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones." - Daniel 6:24

Now, before I touch on this verse I'd really love for you to read the rest of Daniel 6 so you have some context, but if you can't here are the cliff notes.

In one of the most ironic and odd Bible stories we tell our children before they go to bed, this is the classic story of Daniel and the lion's den. 

Daniel is a highly regarded prophet of God and a really, really, really good one at that.  At this time in his life he is a high ranking administrator and because of his success not well liked by some people.  As a result, his critics look to catch him breaking a law they convinced the King to pass banning the kingdom from praying to anyone except the king for the next 30 days. 

Daniel being a strong man of Faith did not budge in his devotion to God and as a result was sentenced to be eaten alive by lions.  The king himself was anguished at having to do this, but the law he passed was unshakable.  So down in the pit of lions Daniel went for the night as the king went home to try and sleep. 

At the break of day, Scripture says, the king rushed back and found Daniel still alive in the den.  Daniel's exact response was "O king, live forever!  my God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions.  They have no hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight.  Nor have I ever done any wrong before you,O king." (Can you see why this dude was loved? :) )

However, here is where we jump into the verse above. 

After hugging Daniel and most likely apologizing for the whole lion thing, he turns his attention to the yahoos that forced the king's hand to kill this Godly man.

As we read, the punishment seemed almost fitting.  Take the punishment you tried to inflict on an innocent man and apply it the person who deserves it.  However, we notice that it wasn't just the men that suffered the punishment.  It was the entire family that was mauled by the lions and whose bones were crushed.

Now wait a minute.  That doesn't seem fair.  What did the kids and wives do?

In that culture this was very common.  You see, it all came down to eliminating any and all threats to the throne.  So instead of killing just the men and running the risk of the sons growing up to seek retribution, the king just eliminated everyone involved so he didn't have to worry about keeping up with all the offspring. 

So as a result the family of these men also received the punishment for their actions.  They were collateral damage. 

Don't kid yourself.  This still happens all the time today.

Families and loved ones suffering the consequences of someone else's actions, mistakes, slip-ups, decisions...sin.  Lives mauled to pieces as collateral damage.

• It’s the couple that gets a divorce because they "fell out of love" who have to watch as their kids are turned to dust through the process.
• It’s the husband that decides to gamble his paychecks away thinking it will only affect him who then has to live through the "lions" of distrust and financial ruin along with his wife.
• It’s the teenager who believes that "everyone is drinking so I should too” who soon finds out that going to college or getting a job is a lot harder with a DUI and a criminal record.  Not to mention the devastation of a mom who just had to post bail for their child.

We do not live life in a vacuum.  Our actions, decisions, and their effects are not isolated to only us.  They ripple out to many, many, many more people. 

Without a doubt we should desire to remove sin in our life for the sake of our relationship with Christ, but additionally we should be spurred on by the families we love. 

I don't know of anyone that would be excited to see a hungry lion being brought home.

The Old Guys at McDonalds: The Original Small Group

Growing up in South Dakota we would have to leave very early in the morning to travel to our basketball, baseball, football, soccer, or "you name it" games.  So my mom would usually let us grab breakfast from McDonald's on the way and occasionally we would have time to go in and eat. 

When we went inside even through a groggy haze I remember seeing the same group of old guys sitting in McDonald's sipping coffee and swapping stories.  Most of these stories I shouldn't repeat, but let's just say they made a teenager giggle.  They'd sit around talking and drinking until one by one they would leave for the day.  Every time one would leave the group would say "See ya Bob" or "Catch you tomorrow Fred" knowing that the next day would bring them back together. 

Fast forward to Frankfort, Illinois 2011 and walk into any McDonalds early in the morning and I willing to bet you will find a similar group.  A group of old timers swapping stories, sipping coffee, and talking about life.  And whether they think about it or not they have a great support system for one another sheltered safely under the Golden Arches. 

This just goes to show that everyone needs or has a small group.

It seems that one of the scariest requests you can make of someone in the church world is to "join a small group".  Say those words and people retract back in their personal shells like a turtle at the zoo.  Somehow the thought of willingly putting yourself in a group of peopel to discuss life seems so odd and foreign, but from what I've seen it's completely natural!

Let's be honest if a group of guys that lived in a generation much less open and "feelings orientated" as ours today can get together and talk life I think we probably could too.  And listen, no one makes these guys get up at 4:30 am to come down to McD's.   They do it willingly!  For some reason they desire to be around their friends.  For some reason they are drawn toward community.

The reason is because that is how God designed us.  He created us to be in community with each other and living life together.  He never envisioned us pulling in our garages, turning off the car, and shutting the door before we got out.  In fact His plan is exactly the opposite.

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.'"- Genesis 2:18

"Let us not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another." - Hebrews 10:25

I know sometimes the thought of going to some random person's house you never met and walking in with your rice crispy treats and untouched Bible could be intimidating.  Man it was for me too at first!  But what is even scarier is thought of trying to manage through this life on my own. 

So maybe we all need to take a little advice from the old guys at McDonalds and get in a small group.  If you haven't gotten in one and you attend Parkview why not click on this link?

Join a Small Group Now

If you are reading this somewhere else I'll just challenge you to jump into a group somewhere and start digging into life with some people.  I know you will not regret it and who knows maybe you will learn to like Egg McMuffins too!

 

The Voices In My Head

Read this phrase to yourself:  "I Love You."

• Now say it to yourself as if it was someone who really loves and cares for you. 
• Ok, now say it to yourself as if it was someone you casually know as a friend.
• One last time.  Now say it to yourself as if it was someone that you can't stand or your worst enemy.

Did the meaning of the words change as the person you envisioned saying it changed?

You said the exact same phrase right? 

The only difference was the voice of the person saying it, but it totally changed the meaning and/or sincerity in which you felt those words.  You can't expect to feel the same way when your wife tells you she "loves you" and when Osama bin Laden tells you the same thing!

My mind and heart will instantly detect the genuineness and sincerity in my wife's words and the sarcasm and deceit in the words of a mass murderer. 

However…sometimes this works against us too. 

Take e-mail for instance.

Do you ever find that when you read an e-mail you add all kinds of attitude and sassafras to their words so that by the time you’re done reading it you pretty much want to punch the person in the face?  I mean throw an emoticon in there at least would ya!  But then when you actually talk to the person about the e-mail you find out they intended it to be far less caustic than the voices in your head made it sound.

I find that those same voices in my head mess with my relationship with God too. 

Depending on what you've been taught or heard about God, I' sure you have a perception of what you think He is like.  Some people have the view that God is angry and a grumpy old man on a cloud.  So even when they hear that God "Loves them" they do so with a bitter taste in their mouth and doubt that it could be true. 

Others of us have this idea that God is always puppies and ponies and all He intends for us is to be healthy and wealthy.  As if God were a genie in a bottle and if we say the right prayer and sing the right songs money will fall out of the skies into our cubicle at work.   Then when it doesn't happen and we drive home in our 1984 Ford Taurus with only 3 of the 4 doors still attached we feel God has let us down.

The voices in our heads that tell us what we think God is like cloud our judgment so much that we never really investigate what He really is like.

Now I don’t' have enough space to describe the complexity of who God really is, and frankly I wouldn't do Him justice if I tried.  So maybe I can just pose a few questions and let you take it from here. 

• What if what you thought about God was as inaccurate as the e-mail you read from your friend?
• What if you have been saying the words "I Love You" with the wrong image of who is saying it?
• What if the voices in your head are wrong?

So I'll encourage you just as I encouraged myself.  Read the Bible and find out who the REAL God is and not who you've made Him out to be.  I've found out He is way more loving, merciful, graceful, and amazing than I could imagine.

Video: Is God Good?

Hey gang! This was the video the Pastor Tim used last weekend in the message entitled "Hey, my friend has a question:  Why do bad things happen to good people?"  Below this video clip is the link to the whole message if you would like to get an idea of the whole deal.

 

"Hey, my friend has a question:  Why do bad things happen to good people?" Message Link

 

Video Blog: He Will Melt the Snow

It's hard to believe that we are only few weeks removed from the Snowpocolypse that hit Chicago and now there is barely a skiff of snow remaining.  It just goes to show that God is in control and when things seem to be at their worst God has a way of melting some snow in our lives to give us hope.

 

Video Blog: What's Your Eiffel Tower?

I just couldn't help but film a quick blog in front of the Eiffel Tower when I was in France.  It is an amazing work of art and it is awe inspiring, but it got me thinking. 

What are you looking forward too when this life passes away and the next life begins?

 

True Confessions of a First Time Dad: The Effects Of A 1 Year Old On The Most Romantic City on Earth

Recently my wife and I took a trip to France to visit my brother in-law Alex and his wife Katie.  Not only was this the first trip to France for both of us, but it was also the first international trip for our daughter Aniston.  I thought you may appreciate the effects of a 1-year old on the most romantic city on earth.   

• International Flight + 1 Year Old = I think Bill Cosby describes it best when talking about Jeffery.  

• Leisurely Walks Down Charming Streets + 1 Year Old = Carrying a dead-weight, jet-lagged, hysterical baby to a train station and throwing out L1-L5 of your vertebral column while every French person possibly condemns you with their stares.

• Public Transportation Metro Trains + 1 Year Old = Carrying a stroller loaded down with no baby but a baby backpack, camera bag, souvenirs, and umbrellas up and down 15- 20 flights of stairs as we transfer to 3 different lines.  Upside is that in no way do you need to work-out while on vacation.

• Quaint Persian Hotel + 1 Year Old = Cramming your jet lagged child into a newly purchased tent big enough for a 1 year old at 2:00 in the morning as she is screaming.  This can only be compared to the grandma who wrapped up her cat for a present in Christmas Vacation.  Then finally giving in and letting her sleep on the bed with you which requires you and your wife to contort your bodies to form what can only be described as a UFC octagon to keep her penned in. 

• Relaxing Pillow Talk With Your Wife + 1 Year Old = Whispering so quietly to each other (so as to not wake your child that finally went to sleep) that CIA microphones could not pick up the sound. 

• Romantic French Bistros + 1 Year Old = Trying to order a grilled cheese sandwich that isn't lit on fire when it gets to your table while ordering food for yourself you can't pronounce.

• Flavorful French Cuisine + 1 Year Old = The most regular child on the planet who may break the record for most dirty diapers in a 9-day period of time previously held by an 88 year old man in Milwaukee.

• French Crepes + 1 Year Old = Your daughter's new favorite food and the necessity to buy stock in Nutella.  

• Watching an International Basketball Game + 1 Year Old = Only two words needed:  Despicable Me. 

• Vineyard Tours + 1 Year Old = Dad left in the backseat of a Volkswagen Golf while the 1 year old that missed her nap writhes and screams so much that every window in the car fogs up.  The silver lining turns out that she likes writing in the fog she created on the windows, but there was still so much of it that my wife had to knock on the windows to see if we were still alive. 

The Final Verdict:  One of the coolest trips I've been on and I loved every second of it with my family. 

You see that is what we are, a family. Families include all the good stuff like giggles and impromptu hugs, but also screams and tantrums.  Families include parents that kiss each other and parents that want to strangle each other.  Families include good times and not so good times, but through it all it is a family.  

Don't get me wrong I love time alone with Cherie and we are not opposed to taking a few days to our self while someone watches Aniston, but that's not the norm.  The norm is that we do things as a family, live life as a family, and represent God as a family.  

You don't give up on a family when things get tough.  You don't call it quits on a family when you hit a bump.  You don't leave one family for another family that looks better. 

Nope.

You enjoy, work, encourage, endure, mold, pray for, laugh with, and honor the family God has given you through good and bad. 

I know this trip allowed me to take stock on how blessed I am to have the family God gave me.  Maybe you can take a step back and look at the family God has given you   Perhaps you need to realize that your family may not always be the most romantic thing to look at, but it is a blessing that He gave you and in the end it's always worth the effort. 

Don't Hate The Game Because Of The Player

Can any of you relate to this?

When I'm presented with an idea from somebody I can't stand, I will do everything possible to not do that thing.  The thought could be as logical as "I think the room is on fire and filling with poisonous snakes.  We should run!" and I will think "It's not that hot.  I think the snakes are harmless.  I think I'm going to lay down and take a nap."

All because the person giving me the suggestion rubs me the wrong way or has been an absolute tool bag to me in the past.

The problem with that line of thinking is that I often find myself with 3rd degree burns and bloated with snake venom because of my stubbornness.  I dismiss the logic and truth of the idea for the sake of not giving in to the person.

So much of this is birthed out of that nasty word called pride.  Pride that says my ideas are the only logical ones.  Pride that tells me if I take his or her idea it will only make them more of a tool.  Pride that keeps me from learning through someone else and pride that causes me to be less of the person Christ wants me to be.  

I see so many Christians and Non-Christians alike fight the teachings of Jesus because deep down they like the Jesus that sits on their dashboard or the tattoo they have on their arm more than actually following what He taught.  I've said it before but I liken their relationship with Jesus to that of the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.  Great to read about and do holidays with, but don't come near my wallet, my social life, or my sin because that just crosses the line.

There is a saying in athletics that goes, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."  In all honesty this phrase should not be said by white people, but all too often we are the only ones that say it.  When we pull this line out in conversation it just seems out of place like a World Series Trophy in a Cubs front office.  Yep...I went there.

However, if we apply this to our spiritual lives we should really follow that logic.  We shouldn't hate the player or in this case the one bringing the message, we should hate the game.  The game of this world filled with sin, lies, and destruction whose head coach is none other than Satan himself.  

But you and I like to hate the player and not the game.  We will dismiss the messenger so we don't have to stop doing what we are doing, being who we are, or pursuing what we are pursuing.  And this time the phrase sounds ridiculous said by all colors of the rainbow.  

The solution to this dilemma is found through only One means.  It is the solution of submission.  Submission to the reality that God is God, I am not, and I need to follow His ways of living not mine.  

I know that in my life when I submit to what Jesus has calls me to do, I always find out His way was best.  I also know that when I put my head down and dismiss the message because of the messenger I end up face down in a pile of my own mess that I created.  

So as I type this I have a huge messenger issue in my life that I need to deal with, but only by the Grace of God will I soften my heart.  I hope you too will take a step back from your life and see where you have hated the player instead of the game and start to submit to Christ's will for you life.  

It will never let you down.

I've Never Seen A Happy Smoker

Call me crazy but I don't know if I've ever seen a happy smoker.

Think about it. 

Most of the time you see them in them following places:

• 6 inches beyond the designated distance they can be to their office building in order to smoke huddled together for warmth...not smiling.
• Standing by themselves giving glares to people walking by...not smiling.
• Sitting on a bench outside the hospital where they work as they take a break from caring for the people inside that are suffering the effects of smoking their whole lives...not smiling.
• Lighting a new cigarette with the butt of the one they just finished watching reruns of the Red Green show...not smiling.

I'm sure you can guess by now that I'm not a huge fan of smoking.  It is one of the many mysteries of the culture phenomenon known as "cool" that I'll never understand. 

How igniting a piece of paper that encases a bundle of toxic chemicals designed to be inhaled into your lungs which has been proven to slowly kill you can be classified as "cool" is beyond me, but I digress.

Even more mind boggling is that if you ask most of those huddled masses of frowning faces they will tell you they hate doing it.  Most are not smiling because they are tough, but because they are frustrated, angry, and embarrassed.   They can't believe that this little stick of cancerous dynamite has such a strong hold on them and they can't seem to stop. 

We all have a vice(s) that we hate, but we still do it.  I chew my fingers and I hate that I do it.  My wife hates that I do it.  My dog hates that I do it.  However, I still chew away when I start to thinking about things I need to do. 

In our spiritual lives we also have things that don't bring a smile to our face yet we still do them.  We see and know all kinds of people that know what they are doing is wrong and yet seem to not be able to stop.  Unfortunately, as with smoking, sometimes we believe the lie that we cannot overcome them.  The grip is just "too tight" on us so we give in and keep puffing away as we slowly kill our souls. 

However some of us believe another kind of lie.  It is the lie that "God will never give us more than we can handle".  Wow that seems really encouraging.  It also is as healthy for your soul as eating off an ash tray at the end of the Sturgis Bike Rally. 

If that statement were true why do we need God?  I mean if we can handle everything that comes our way then why did Jesus go through all that drama?

The reality is that there is far more in our lives that we can't handle that we can.  We need God's help and strength and mercy and Grace in much more that we give Him access too.  But if we are ever going to overcome the vices and obstacles in our lives we need God involved.  We need Him to handle it the right way and not have us mess it all up like Aniston does her potatoes on her high chair. 

So if you made it through this whole thing and are a smoker I'll leave it up to you to decide what you need to do about your smoking.

But as far as our spiritual lives are concerned, I'm hoping you and I can stop trying to manage our vices and sin on our own and start to let God stop them out under the heal of His boot.